You want to hire a doula. There’s never been any doubt, especially after hearing the many stories of family and friends about their birth experiences. Some told of how they wished they had the support of a doula when their birth plans went out of the window, and they found themselves questioning what to do next. Some praised their doula and told you how she was worth her weight in gold. Then there were others who actually didn’t have the best experience with their doula and while it hasn’t deterred you, it has made you extremely cautious when it comes to choosing a doula.
You’ve been told that you’ll need to interview at least 3 doulas to make sure that you and your doula are the right fit. I want to challenge you a little bit on that. Interview as many doulas as you need to until you find the one who clicks. You know, the one you talk to who just gets it, who just gets you. That may be the first doula you meet or the 5th doula you meet, but when you find her, you’ll feel it. You’ll know.
As doulas, we teach our clients an acronym that is useful in helping them make decisions about their care. It’s called B.R.A.I.N. and it stands for benefits, risks, alternatives, intuition, and nothing. How would you use your B.R.A.I.N. to choose a doula?
B – Benefits – Your research has told you how doulas benefit your pregnancy and birth experience (less use of pain medicine, lower risk of c-section, shorter birth, more satisfying experience, etc). But how will this doula benefit you? What qualities do they possess that will help make this a beautiful experience for you? Do they make you feel at peace, calm, and relaxed? When you close your eyes and think about the day your baby is born, can you see this person in the room with you?
R - Risks – Does this person have a high chance of not being available for you, physically and emotionally? Do they have a partner or designated back-up that you can meet and get to know ahead of time? Do they have another job or responsibilities that may make it difficult for them to come when you need them? Do they have reliable transportation? Do they have their own agenda or philosophy when it comes to birth. Will that make it difficult for them to support your choices without judgement or bias?
A – Alternatives – Is there someone else who can be there for you in the way you feel you need support? Can you get everything you need from your partner, taking into account that they, too, are having a new experience? Maybe a close friend, your mother, or sister could fill the void, but could they see you in your vulnerability and remain unbiased and nonjudgemental when it comes to your goals and your desires? Can they interpret medical terminology so you can make the best decisions for you and your baby?
I – Intuition – THIS is the big one! When you’re with this doula, what is your gut telling you? How do you feel? Do you want to lean in and talk more or are you hoping the meeting will be over soon? When they answer your questions do you feel better, more at ease, or do you see red flags and want to run for the hills?
N – Nothing – You could do nothing. You could choose not to hire a doula altogether.
Think about what type of experience you want. You could plan and prepare on your own; read the books, watch the videos, and take the classes. You could just wing it and see what happens. Or, you could have a knowledgeable expert at your side offering understanding, education, guidance, hands-on physical comfort measures and peace of mind during your pregnancy, the duration of your labor and birth, and into those first moments, days, and weeks as a new parent.
Put us to the test. Find your doula using your B.R.A.I.N. . Atlanta Family Doulas would love to help you navigate this phenomenally life-changing adventure.
Contact us today and one of our certified, compassionate and knowledgeable professionals will reach out to discuss your goals and desires for your experience and how we can support you and your family along this journey.
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